| "Welcome to Crystal Lake” |
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Friday the 13th
CINEMA/APPROX. 97 MINS/2009/USA R18+
CINEMA/APPROX. 97 MINS/2009/USA R18+
6.5
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It’s 1980, the day is Friday the 13th and a young child named Jason Voorhees (Caleb Guss - The Hottie & the Nottie) is hiding in the dense
bushes, as he witnesses his mother Pamela Voorhees (Nana Visitor - Babysitter Wanted) get beheaded by a camp counsellor with a machete
while trying to escape her murderous rampage at Camp Crystal Lake.
Between twenty to thirty years later a group of teenagers Richie (Ben Feldman - Cloverfield), Wade (Jonathan Sadowski - Terminator: The Sarah
Connor Chronicles), Mike (Nick Mennell - Rob Zombie's Halloween), Whitney (Amanda Righetti - Return to House on Haunted Hill) and Amanda
(America Olivo - The Thirst: Blood War) set out for a relaxing weekend of camping at Crystal Lake. As Richie and Wade have a secret gender to rip
off a nearby weed plantation and cash it in to become stinking rich, while Wade drags Whitney away from her dying mother’s (cancer) bedside as a
nurse attends her mother’s needs. That following night after toasting marshmallows around the open campfire, Richie tells the tale of Mr’s
Voorhees killing rampage and how her deformed son Jason who supposedly drowned is still alive and yet to be found. While Wade and Whitney
(who is worried about her mom) go off to explore the abandoned huts of Camp Crystal Lake, surprisingly Jason Voorhees (Derek Mears - The Hills
Have Eyes II) appears and greets the remaining teenagers with the tip of his machete. When returning back home he also finds another two
intruders Wade and Whitney snooping around where they need not to be.
Six weeks later Trent (Travis Van Winkle - Left in Darkness) and his girlfriend Jenna (Danielle Panabaker - Shark) and their friends Chelsea (Willa
Ford - Impulse), Nolan (Ryan Hansen - Veronica Mars), Chewie (Aaron Yoo - Disturbia), Lawrence (Arlen Escarpeta - We Are Marshall) and Bree
(Julianna Guill - One Tree Hill) arrive at Trent's parents lakeside cabin for a weekend of partying, unaware of the missing teenagers of Crystal
Lake. While Whitney’s older brother Clay (Jared Padalecki - Supernatural) is going around knocking on door to door, posting up missing flyers of
his little sister around Crystal Lake. Clay eventually finds himself at Trent’s summer cabin as Jenna agrees to help him out to look for his missing
sister on the other side of the lake. Jason soon begins to go on his own murderous rampage cleaning up farm by farm nearby, sooner and later the
bodies begin to pile up one by one and Clay and Jenna are staring in the face of a 6ft 5, hockey mask-wearing, machete wielding madman named
Jason Voorhees.
First off I got to get this off my fucking chest, why the hell wasn’t this release the same time it was release in the States? We had to wait another
whole month to watch this movie. I can clearly now understand why people fucking download movies directly from the Internet. Come on Australia
pick up the fucking game and start releasing this shit the same time America does.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) director Marcus Nispel grabs his balls once again and decides to take the risk of relaunching one of the
most praised American horror slasher films of all time, called Friday the 13th. As a lot of you probably have already read on a number of well
known American horror websites, this movie has been bash down to the shithouse by critics and fans. Now I am a pretty huge fan of the Friday
the 13th series and personally, I feel this movie was between the board lines of being fresh but also boring and tasteless. Nispel’s Friday the
13th is not a frame by frame remake, but it’s more along the lines of combining all four earlier titles into one prequel full length featurette.
First off you get to see Jason’s mother being decapitated with a machete, then twenty to thirty years later Jason is all grown up, minding his own
business while growing some dope at Crystal Lake. A bunch of teenagers hear through the grapevine about the plantation and decide to go hunt
for it, which is basically in Jason’s backyard I guess you can say. At this stage Jason is wearing that old one eye potato sack to cover up his
deformed face, a couple weeks later he manages to kill this farmer for stealing some buds from his crop and finds a hockey mask in the barn.
The thing I like about this movie is that within 40 minutes you see Jason’s potato mask appearance transforming into the idolized slasher he is
nowadays with his hockey-mask.
Another nifty thing I liked was in all the previous movies; Jason was able to know where all the teenagers were at any given time. Again Nispel’s
version shows you how Jason knows exactly whereabouts these teenagers are (which I won’t spoil for you of course).
I really don’t know what the big deal is with other critics bashing this film, director Marcus Nispel went out on a limb to create a new edition to this
series, yeah it might of been directed for the MTV generation, but who cares. This director gets both thumbs up for having the balls to do this but
unfortunately his version of Friday the 13th does come soft pretty damn weak when comparing it to all four earlier movies.
The kill scenes in Friday the 13th are probably the biggest downfall and let down that this movie provides. Not much imagination actually went
into the deaths of the teens at Camp Crystal Lake, where in previous movies they tend to try and out-do each other as the series proceeded.
Though to keep in mind, throughout the whole entire series I do believe Jason has managed to kill his victims, to every extent you can imagine.
There was only about two kill scenes I thought were pretty fucking cool, as for the rest, Nispel’s Friday the 13th doesn’t really offer anything really
exciting in terms of the death scenes.
As for the acting, well it’s a mixture of good and the bad. Actor Jared Padalecki who we all know from the television show Supernatural, was the
one who stole the spotlight. I got to say I am a huge fan of Jared Padalecki and believe that this young talented actor is going to go as far as to
taking out Golden Globes and Emmy Awards in the near future. The women love him, guys want to be him and his has the potential to become the
next big thing in Hollywood, landing the right movies of course. Actor Derek Mears the man who played Jason Voorhees did a down right, fantastic
job in my books. He might be no Kane Hodder, but he did manage to make Jason Voorhees slightly darker, mysterious, more loosen up (probably
due to all the weed he has been smoking) and not so stiff as Hodder has continuously done. But sad to say, in my books Hodder will always be
ultimate Jason Voorhees and made the Friday the 13th series what they are nowadays. The rest of the cast did a alright job with what roles they
had within this movie, but soon as there characters are introduced its just a matter of minutes until you see them being chased down and
slaughtered like cattle.
It isn’t a Friday the 13th movie without any tits and ass scenes, right? Sadly in this movie you only get to see three sets of boobs and one scene
being a full body nude. Sadly this would have to be the first Friday the 13th movie where Jason, didn’t get to slaughter any teens who were
screwing there brains out, as he has managed to do in previous movies. Instead he is standing off in the distance looking like a peeping tom, or
playing pocket pool behind a bush or outside a window.
Now for the score, to put it bluntly it just simply sucked, they didn’t even bothered to add in the (Kill, Kill, Kill, Ma, Ma, Ma!) until right at the very
end of the movie, which is what the whole series is notorious for. The same shit also happened in the Omen remake, why the hell they do this type
of shit, really fucking gets to me!!!!!
My final note to this review would have to be, despite all the negative reviews, bashings and bullshit dribble you have read around the net. If you
love this franchise, well then get up off your ass and go watch it and most of all, enjoy being surrounded by other Friday the 13th fans. It’s a
enjoyable movie to veg out to, just keep in mind this isn’t a remake as I mentioned before and most importantly if you know all about the previous
Friday the 13th movies, especially the first four titles, after you watch this movie a lot stuff will start to make some sort of sense and put your
mind at ease.
bushes, as he witnesses his mother Pamela Voorhees (Nana Visitor - Babysitter Wanted) get beheaded by a camp counsellor with a machete
while trying to escape her murderous rampage at Camp Crystal Lake.
Between twenty to thirty years later a group of teenagers Richie (Ben Feldman - Cloverfield), Wade (Jonathan Sadowski - Terminator: The Sarah
Connor Chronicles), Mike (Nick Mennell - Rob Zombie's Halloween), Whitney (Amanda Righetti - Return to House on Haunted Hill) and Amanda
(America Olivo - The Thirst: Blood War) set out for a relaxing weekend of camping at Crystal Lake. As Richie and Wade have a secret gender to rip
off a nearby weed plantation and cash it in to become stinking rich, while Wade drags Whitney away from her dying mother’s (cancer) bedside as a
nurse attends her mother’s needs. That following night after toasting marshmallows around the open campfire, Richie tells the tale of Mr’s
Voorhees killing rampage and how her deformed son Jason who supposedly drowned is still alive and yet to be found. While Wade and Whitney
(who is worried about her mom) go off to explore the abandoned huts of Camp Crystal Lake, surprisingly Jason Voorhees (Derek Mears - The Hills
Have Eyes II) appears and greets the remaining teenagers with the tip of his machete. When returning back home he also finds another two
intruders Wade and Whitney snooping around where they need not to be.
Six weeks later Trent (Travis Van Winkle - Left in Darkness) and his girlfriend Jenna (Danielle Panabaker - Shark) and their friends Chelsea (Willa
Ford - Impulse), Nolan (Ryan Hansen - Veronica Mars), Chewie (Aaron Yoo - Disturbia), Lawrence (Arlen Escarpeta - We Are Marshall) and Bree
(Julianna Guill - One Tree Hill) arrive at Trent's parents lakeside cabin for a weekend of partying, unaware of the missing teenagers of Crystal
Lake. While Whitney’s older brother Clay (Jared Padalecki - Supernatural) is going around knocking on door to door, posting up missing flyers of
his little sister around Crystal Lake. Clay eventually finds himself at Trent’s summer cabin as Jenna agrees to help him out to look for his missing
sister on the other side of the lake. Jason soon begins to go on his own murderous rampage cleaning up farm by farm nearby, sooner and later the
bodies begin to pile up one by one and Clay and Jenna are staring in the face of a 6ft 5, hockey mask-wearing, machete wielding madman named
Jason Voorhees.
First off I got to get this off my fucking chest, why the hell wasn’t this release the same time it was release in the States? We had to wait another
whole month to watch this movie. I can clearly now understand why people fucking download movies directly from the Internet. Come on Australia
pick up the fucking game and start releasing this shit the same time America does.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) director Marcus Nispel grabs his balls once again and decides to take the risk of relaunching one of the
most praised American horror slasher films of all time, called Friday the 13th. As a lot of you probably have already read on a number of well
known American horror websites, this movie has been bash down to the shithouse by critics and fans. Now I am a pretty huge fan of the Friday
the 13th series and personally, I feel this movie was between the board lines of being fresh but also boring and tasteless. Nispel’s Friday the
13th is not a frame by frame remake, but it’s more along the lines of combining all four earlier titles into one prequel full length featurette.
First off you get to see Jason’s mother being decapitated with a machete, then twenty to thirty years later Jason is all grown up, minding his own
business while growing some dope at Crystal Lake. A bunch of teenagers hear through the grapevine about the plantation and decide to go hunt
for it, which is basically in Jason’s backyard I guess you can say. At this stage Jason is wearing that old one eye potato sack to cover up his
deformed face, a couple weeks later he manages to kill this farmer for stealing some buds from his crop and finds a hockey mask in the barn.
The thing I like about this movie is that within 40 minutes you see Jason’s potato mask appearance transforming into the idolized slasher he is
nowadays with his hockey-mask.
Another nifty thing I liked was in all the previous movies; Jason was able to know where all the teenagers were at any given time. Again Nispel’s
version shows you how Jason knows exactly whereabouts these teenagers are (which I won’t spoil for you of course).
I really don’t know what the big deal is with other critics bashing this film, director Marcus Nispel went out on a limb to create a new edition to this
series, yeah it might of been directed for the MTV generation, but who cares. This director gets both thumbs up for having the balls to do this but
unfortunately his version of Friday the 13th does come soft pretty damn weak when comparing it to all four earlier movies.
The kill scenes in Friday the 13th are probably the biggest downfall and let down that this movie provides. Not much imagination actually went
into the deaths of the teens at Camp Crystal Lake, where in previous movies they tend to try and out-do each other as the series proceeded.
Though to keep in mind, throughout the whole entire series I do believe Jason has managed to kill his victims, to every extent you can imagine.
There was only about two kill scenes I thought were pretty fucking cool, as for the rest, Nispel’s Friday the 13th doesn’t really offer anything really
exciting in terms of the death scenes.
As for the acting, well it’s a mixture of good and the bad. Actor Jared Padalecki who we all know from the television show Supernatural, was the
one who stole the spotlight. I got to say I am a huge fan of Jared Padalecki and believe that this young talented actor is going to go as far as to
taking out Golden Globes and Emmy Awards in the near future. The women love him, guys want to be him and his has the potential to become the
next big thing in Hollywood, landing the right movies of course. Actor Derek Mears the man who played Jason Voorhees did a down right, fantastic
job in my books. He might be no Kane Hodder, but he did manage to make Jason Voorhees slightly darker, mysterious, more loosen up (probably
due to all the weed he has been smoking) and not so stiff as Hodder has continuously done. But sad to say, in my books Hodder will always be
ultimate Jason Voorhees and made the Friday the 13th series what they are nowadays. The rest of the cast did a alright job with what roles they
had within this movie, but soon as there characters are introduced its just a matter of minutes until you see them being chased down and
slaughtered like cattle.
It isn’t a Friday the 13th movie without any tits and ass scenes, right? Sadly in this movie you only get to see three sets of boobs and one scene
being a full body nude. Sadly this would have to be the first Friday the 13th movie where Jason, didn’t get to slaughter any teens who were
screwing there brains out, as he has managed to do in previous movies. Instead he is standing off in the distance looking like a peeping tom, or
playing pocket pool behind a bush or outside a window.
Now for the score, to put it bluntly it just simply sucked, they didn’t even bothered to add in the (Kill, Kill, Kill, Ma, Ma, Ma!) until right at the very
end of the movie, which is what the whole series is notorious for. The same shit also happened in the Omen remake, why the hell they do this type
of shit, really fucking gets to me!!!!!
My final note to this review would have to be, despite all the negative reviews, bashings and bullshit dribble you have read around the net. If you
love this franchise, well then get up off your ass and go watch it and most of all, enjoy being surrounded by other Friday the 13th fans. It’s a
enjoyable movie to veg out to, just keep in mind this isn’t a remake as I mentioned before and most importantly if you know all about the previous
Friday the 13th movies, especially the first four titles, after you watch this movie a lot stuff will start to make some sort of sense and put your
mind at ease.
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