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Dorm of the Dead
SCREENER/APPROX. 90 MINS/2006/USA R18+
SCREENER/APPROX. 90 MINS/2006/USA R18+
2
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As Randall states in Clerks 2; “You really have to give it up for Oscar Wilde wordplay that good.” I’m pretty sure he was being sarcastic, and I
know I am.
I am so fucking sick of these low budget independent American blood and boob films. Just a weak excuse to show some sorority freshman titties,
and some poorly executed gore, usually with a plot more see-through than Grandma’s old undies.
A University. A sorority house. Zombies. Ta-daa! Oh, I forgot the whole cast of totally fucking tedious fuckin’ morons who you want to drop dead as
soon as they appear on screen. And why do on-screen Goths have to be such painfully irritating buboes? The acting is uniformly awful. Half of the
cast spend the run time of this abomination mugging dreadfully, delivering their poorly written lines in a stilted, awkward fashion. The other half
just over-act terribly.
This is shoddy merchandise by anyone’s standards. A professor has a sample of zombie blood from Haiti, some of which he injects into a student
he’s been doing the nasty with, and who is trying to blackmail him. She becomes a zombie, and infects more people, who become zombies, too.
Cue zombie invasion. The annoying part of this film (well, one of them) would be that when our heroine, Sarah, is infected with the blood, she
retains her intelligence and reason. She’s chomping human flesh in fine zombie fashion, but she certainly ain’t no brainless grey-faced Romero
shambler. I hate these kind of inconsistencies – like in Children of the Living Dead, where Abbott Hayes retains intelligence when all the other
zombies are just appetites on legs. Why have one rule for one and another rule for others? Physiologically speaking, it makes no sense – why
does one person instantly become a fearless undead eating machine, and another being allowed to retain her intellect? And so the plot falls apart
under the weight of it’s own stupidity.
Some directors have no idea what the letters ADR stand for; Donald Farmer is evidently one of them. By turns muffled, deafening and distorted,
then whisper quiet, and then the dialogue, when audible is often obscured by the appalling techno/indie pop/nu-metal soundtrack.
And the “who gives a fuck” ending? Weak, weak, weak. I wrote better, less derivative bullshit when I was ten.
Extras: The trailer, and a “documentary”, which confirmed my strongly held belief that the cast and crew of the film were a bunch of fuckin’ jack-offs.
know I am.
I am so fucking sick of these low budget independent American blood and boob films. Just a weak excuse to show some sorority freshman titties,
and some poorly executed gore, usually with a plot more see-through than Grandma’s old undies.
A University. A sorority house. Zombies. Ta-daa! Oh, I forgot the whole cast of totally fucking tedious fuckin’ morons who you want to drop dead as
soon as they appear on screen. And why do on-screen Goths have to be such painfully irritating buboes? The acting is uniformly awful. Half of the
cast spend the run time of this abomination mugging dreadfully, delivering their poorly written lines in a stilted, awkward fashion. The other half
just over-act terribly.
This is shoddy merchandise by anyone’s standards. A professor has a sample of zombie blood from Haiti, some of which he injects into a student
he’s been doing the nasty with, and who is trying to blackmail him. She becomes a zombie, and infects more people, who become zombies, too.
Cue zombie invasion. The annoying part of this film (well, one of them) would be that when our heroine, Sarah, is infected with the blood, she
retains her intelligence and reason. She’s chomping human flesh in fine zombie fashion, but she certainly ain’t no brainless grey-faced Romero
shambler. I hate these kind of inconsistencies – like in Children of the Living Dead, where Abbott Hayes retains intelligence when all the other
zombies are just appetites on legs. Why have one rule for one and another rule for others? Physiologically speaking, it makes no sense – why
does one person instantly become a fearless undead eating machine, and another being allowed to retain her intellect? And so the plot falls apart
under the weight of it’s own stupidity.
Some directors have no idea what the letters ADR stand for; Donald Farmer is evidently one of them. By turns muffled, deafening and distorted,
then whisper quiet, and then the dialogue, when audible is often obscured by the appalling techno/indie pop/nu-metal soundtrack.
And the “who gives a fuck” ending? Weak, weak, weak. I wrote better, less derivative bullshit when I was ten.
Extras: The trailer, and a “documentary”, which confirmed my strongly held belief that the cast and crew of the film were a bunch of fuckin’ jack-offs.
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