2.5
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| "Loads of blood and a much appreciated new spin on vampire mythology." |
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Slayer
DVD/APPROX. 87 MINS/2006/USA UNRATED
DVD/APPROX. 87 MINS/2006/USA UNRATED
A team of elite commandos led by Sergeant Hawks (Casper Van Dien) heads deep into the South American rainforest to a small village. As soon as
they get to the village they find all the native people dead with their throats ripped out. Minutes later they are attacked by a group of bloodthirsty
vampires who can somehow survive in the sunlight. The team manages to kill them all by ramming wooden stakes through their chests. Several
months later, there are reports of daylight vampires terrorizing other small villages in South America, so military intelligence Colonel Jessica Weaver
(Lynda Carter) sends in Hawk and his crew to clean up the rest of the bloodsucking vampires and to also rescue beautiful scientist Dr. Laurie
Williams (Jennifer O'Dell), who is Hawks ex-wife and the Colonel's daughter. The mission is now personal.
This film was made for TV, and I can see why. I kind of had high hopes for this film before watching it as I expected something like Blade meets
Predator, but unfortunately it felt like I was watching GI Joe meets Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I can't recall how many times I yawned and/or
picked my nose while watching this film, but I did manage to watch it through to the very end (with eyes half shut, mind you). The only thing that
kept me going was the gore and blood splatter, everything else was just a waste of time.
The acting in Kevin VanHook's Slayer is about average to any other B-Movie that you see around the video store shelves, though the director did
cast a few big named stars to have cameos in his film including Danny Trejo (Grindhouse, From Dusk ‘Til Dawn), Ray Park (Mortal Kombat:
Annihilation, X-Men) and the one and only Lynda Carter who used to play Wonder Woman in the mid to late ‘70s. Even Casper Van Dien is
somewhat a well-known actor, who also starred in Starship Troopers, a film I love, but his performance in Slayer just didn't hold up too well. The
dialogue in this film was way too far over the top, and before you can say "batty batty fucking batman" the characters in Slayer became boring as
bat shit, I'm sorry to say but its the fucking truth.
I didn't get right into the whole vampire thing, most of the time they hiss and jump around onto walls and into trees and I kinda felt like I was
watching a Kung Fu film half the time. Though, when the vampires kill it’s a treat to see. The gore is quite good, as you get to see throats torn
open, an old lady get torn in half and devoured, throats slit open with knifes, a few beheadings and shitloads of blood splatter. The gore and
splatter are the highlights of the film, but as the film goes on the blood splatter becomes a bit lame and repetitive.
If you love vampire films that have a good level of blood and gore you might get a kick out of Kevin VanHook's Slayer, but I personally wouldn’t
recommend you buy this DVD in a hurry. Play it safe and rent it before you buy it or wait until it appears on television. And those who do end up
buying this DVD will probably end up watching it once and then throwing it in their shit pile DVD collection with other crap titles like Children tf the
Living Dead, House Of The Dead and 5ive Girls.
they get to the village they find all the native people dead with their throats ripped out. Minutes later they are attacked by a group of bloodthirsty
vampires who can somehow survive in the sunlight. The team manages to kill them all by ramming wooden stakes through their chests. Several
months later, there are reports of daylight vampires terrorizing other small villages in South America, so military intelligence Colonel Jessica Weaver
(Lynda Carter) sends in Hawk and his crew to clean up the rest of the bloodsucking vampires and to also rescue beautiful scientist Dr. Laurie
Williams (Jennifer O'Dell), who is Hawks ex-wife and the Colonel's daughter. The mission is now personal.
This film was made for TV, and I can see why. I kind of had high hopes for this film before watching it as I expected something like Blade meets
Predator, but unfortunately it felt like I was watching GI Joe meets Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I can't recall how many times I yawned and/or
picked my nose while watching this film, but I did manage to watch it through to the very end (with eyes half shut, mind you). The only thing that
kept me going was the gore and blood splatter, everything else was just a waste of time.
The acting in Kevin VanHook's Slayer is about average to any other B-Movie that you see around the video store shelves, though the director did
cast a few big named stars to have cameos in his film including Danny Trejo (Grindhouse, From Dusk ‘Til Dawn), Ray Park (Mortal Kombat:
Annihilation, X-Men) and the one and only Lynda Carter who used to play Wonder Woman in the mid to late ‘70s. Even Casper Van Dien is
somewhat a well-known actor, who also starred in Starship Troopers, a film I love, but his performance in Slayer just didn't hold up too well. The
dialogue in this film was way too far over the top, and before you can say "batty batty fucking batman" the characters in Slayer became boring as
bat shit, I'm sorry to say but its the fucking truth.
I didn't get right into the whole vampire thing, most of the time they hiss and jump around onto walls and into trees and I kinda felt like I was
watching a Kung Fu film half the time. Though, when the vampires kill it’s a treat to see. The gore is quite good, as you get to see throats torn
open, an old lady get torn in half and devoured, throats slit open with knifes, a few beheadings and shitloads of blood splatter. The gore and
splatter are the highlights of the film, but as the film goes on the blood splatter becomes a bit lame and repetitive.
If you love vampire films that have a good level of blood and gore you might get a kick out of Kevin VanHook's Slayer, but I personally wouldn’t
recommend you buy this DVD in a hurry. Play it safe and rent it before you buy it or wait until it appears on television. And those who do end up
buying this DVD will probably end up watching it once and then throwing it in their shit pile DVD collection with other crap titles like Children tf the
Living Dead, House Of The Dead and 5ive Girls.
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