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| "Date, Mate, Mutilate" |
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Splatter Beach
2 DVDS/APPROX. 210 MINS/2006/USA UNRATED
2 DVDS/APPROX. 210 MINS/2006/USA UNRATED
B-grade gutter trash, and that’s what it seems to want to be. A bunch of young ne’er do wells head off from the big smoke down to Splatter Beach
for some cheap thrills, despite the fact, or because of it, that they know bad things happen there. The cast is full of the average bunch of late-teen,
early-twenties fuck-knuckles that this sort of film relies on.
Basically, what you’re looking at here is B-grade cheese and lots of it. Once I saw that Erika Smith (AKA Misty Mundae) was involved, I must say
that my expectations plummeted. I’m not saying she necessarily makes it a bad film – I’ve seen much worse than the other tripe I’ve seen her in –
it’s going to be nothing more than just silly, campy fun. This never hits the wonderful heights of Die You Zombie Bastards! or Enter…Zombie King,
but in terms of tongue-in-cheek US horror comedy, it pushes most of the right buttons. I guess I’m not exactly the target audience, so a lot of what’
s on store is going to be lost on me.
Based faithfully on the 80s idea that the cast of any stalk and slash film must be young, sex-obsessed and thoroughly repellent, Splatter Beach
hits us with all the clichés: the uber-nerd hero, the outsider, the whore and the jock (in this case possibly the most horrifying wigga I’ve seen in
some time, and I was in Chatswood last week!). No-one in this film is sympathetic – they are all horrible bastards. But that is kind of the point, this
is (I hope) meant to be a bit of a spoof.
People start disappearing, and it’s all meant to be because of some evil fish-men (hello, Lovecraft!), and their nefarious ill-doings, but really, no-
one gives a shit. This is a silly film, and one for genre fans, and even they won’t care too much, being as most of this is complete rubbish. A bit of
fun, even if a bit on the stupid side.
Think of this basically as being something like a re-vamp of a Roger Corman film (thinking about Humanoids From The Deep, would help): monsters
exist, no-one believes those who’ve seen them – you know the drill. Silly, but fun – a sporadic laugh for those who like monster flicks. And ten
points goes to any film that when in the final scene where the last fella and the last chick left alive are together and the fella asks the chick on a
date and her response is, “Since my last boyfriend, I’m going lesbo” – you have to salute that.
Extras: Commentary with the directors and one of the actors, a bonus CD of the soundtrack by Jon McBride (responsible for much of the music),
profiles of the production company and their obviously younger brother, an interview with the musician who scored the film (plus one of his video
clips), plus 1980s bonus feature “Hallucinations”.
for some cheap thrills, despite the fact, or because of it, that they know bad things happen there. The cast is full of the average bunch of late-teen,
early-twenties fuck-knuckles that this sort of film relies on.
Basically, what you’re looking at here is B-grade cheese and lots of it. Once I saw that Erika Smith (AKA Misty Mundae) was involved, I must say
that my expectations plummeted. I’m not saying she necessarily makes it a bad film – I’ve seen much worse than the other tripe I’ve seen her in –
it’s going to be nothing more than just silly, campy fun. This never hits the wonderful heights of Die You Zombie Bastards! or Enter…Zombie King,
but in terms of tongue-in-cheek US horror comedy, it pushes most of the right buttons. I guess I’m not exactly the target audience, so a lot of what’
s on store is going to be lost on me.
Based faithfully on the 80s idea that the cast of any stalk and slash film must be young, sex-obsessed and thoroughly repellent, Splatter Beach
hits us with all the clichés: the uber-nerd hero, the outsider, the whore and the jock (in this case possibly the most horrifying wigga I’ve seen in
some time, and I was in Chatswood last week!). No-one in this film is sympathetic – they are all horrible bastards. But that is kind of the point, this
is (I hope) meant to be a bit of a spoof.
People start disappearing, and it’s all meant to be because of some evil fish-men (hello, Lovecraft!), and their nefarious ill-doings, but really, no-
one gives a shit. This is a silly film, and one for genre fans, and even they won’t care too much, being as most of this is complete rubbish. A bit of
fun, even if a bit on the stupid side.
Think of this basically as being something like a re-vamp of a Roger Corman film (thinking about Humanoids From The Deep, would help): monsters
exist, no-one believes those who’ve seen them – you know the drill. Silly, but fun – a sporadic laugh for those who like monster flicks. And ten
points goes to any film that when in the final scene where the last fella and the last chick left alive are together and the fella asks the chick on a
date and her response is, “Since my last boyfriend, I’m going lesbo” – you have to salute that.
Extras: Commentary with the directors and one of the actors, a bonus CD of the soundtrack by Jon McBride (responsible for much of the music),
profiles of the production company and their obviously younger brother, an interview with the musician who scored the film (plus one of his video
clips), plus 1980s bonus feature “Hallucinations”.
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