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The Wickeds
DVD/APPROX. 86 MINS/2005/USA UNRATED
DVD/APPROX. 86 MINS/2005/USA UNRATED
A bunch of teenagers are on a road trip, and they head out to a old house near a cemetery that's being used as a shooting location for a
independent horror movie. Since the film crew don't shoot on Saturdays, the kids enter the old house to have a bit of a party. Over at the
cemetery, two grave robbers, Gus (Ron Jeremy) and Billy (Bryan Donoghue), are digging up a old grave to steal a mystical amulet which is worth a
fortune. As soon as they get to the coffin, they open it up, but Gus and Billy are surprised to find that the corpse is "a vampire" and is still so well
preserved that it hasn't decayed at all. Gus tells Billy to quickly grab the amulet, but as soon as Billy grabs the amulet the vampire opens its eyes
and take a chunk out of Billy's wrist. Gus helps Billy out of the grave, where soon after zombies begin to rise up out of their graves to hunt down
the two grave robbers for the vampire's amulet. The two both quickly make there way to the near by house where the teenagers are; together
they all have to join forces to fight off the blood thirsty vampire and zombies in order to survive.
Now, wasn't I a sucker for this film? The cover has that whole, "You gotta fucking watch this" thing about it, so I thought to myself "Hell why not"
so i did, and what a piece of shit this film was. Now, I enjoy watching indie films and can handle watching some shitty films, but this movie
reminded me so much of Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things and Night Of The Living Dead it wasn't fucking funny. I have no clue what
fucking director John Poague and writer David Zagorski were thinking when they made this film!, i guess their was some nice buds floating around
at the time. But put it this way, Children Of The Living Dead pisses all over this film, now that should give you a good idea what it is like! And I
have no clue what the ending was like 'cause after 30 minutes I turned it off, and decided to watch Jackass on TV instead. The only thing probably
going for this film is pornstar legend Ron Jeremy; too bad he didn't whip it out and fuck a few of the teens in the house or even a few zombies,
then The Wickeds would be a wicked film to watch.
The Wickeds is nothing but a joke, and not even worth renting or buying on DVD, so don't be a sucker like me and buy this, just because it has an
awesome cover. Thank fuck I got this at eBay, 'cause now I have a $5 DVD coaster and the DVD Sleeve I will use as emergency shit paper on day.
I'd rather pluck every pube from my ballsack with a pair of tweezers than watch this film again.
independent horror movie. Since the film crew don't shoot on Saturdays, the kids enter the old house to have a bit of a party. Over at the
cemetery, two grave robbers, Gus (Ron Jeremy) and Billy (Bryan Donoghue), are digging up a old grave to steal a mystical amulet which is worth a
fortune. As soon as they get to the coffin, they open it up, but Gus and Billy are surprised to find that the corpse is "a vampire" and is still so well
preserved that it hasn't decayed at all. Gus tells Billy to quickly grab the amulet, but as soon as Billy grabs the amulet the vampire opens its eyes
and take a chunk out of Billy's wrist. Gus helps Billy out of the grave, where soon after zombies begin to rise up out of their graves to hunt down
the two grave robbers for the vampire's amulet. The two both quickly make there way to the near by house where the teenagers are; together
they all have to join forces to fight off the blood thirsty vampire and zombies in order to survive.
Now, wasn't I a sucker for this film? The cover has that whole, "You gotta fucking watch this" thing about it, so I thought to myself "Hell why not"
so i did, and what a piece of shit this film was. Now, I enjoy watching indie films and can handle watching some shitty films, but this movie
reminded me so much of Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things and Night Of The Living Dead it wasn't fucking funny. I have no clue what
fucking director John Poague and writer David Zagorski were thinking when they made this film!, i guess their was some nice buds floating around
at the time. But put it this way, Children Of The Living Dead pisses all over this film, now that should give you a good idea what it is like! And I
have no clue what the ending was like 'cause after 30 minutes I turned it off, and decided to watch Jackass on TV instead. The only thing probably
going for this film is pornstar legend Ron Jeremy; too bad he didn't whip it out and fuck a few of the teens in the house or even a few zombies,
then The Wickeds would be a wicked film to watch.
The Wickeds is nothing but a joke, and not even worth renting or buying on DVD, so don't be a sucker like me and buy this, just because it has an
awesome cover. Thank fuck I got this at eBay, 'cause now I have a $5 DVD coaster and the DVD Sleeve I will use as emergency shit paper on day.
I'd rather pluck every pube from my ballsack with a pair of tweezers than watch this film again.
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